15 years ago…

15 years ago,  it was barely 6 am  (PST) and someone woke me up to watch the news.  I was in shock.  Well we all were.  The planes had just hit the twin towers.  It was eerie, it was a void in time.  With those planes that hit the towers,  the Pentagon and later the last one that came down,  everything just shut down.

I remember just sitting watching over and over the replays… it was too unreal.  No it didn’t happen.  But the news and the internet didn’t not lie that day.  It had happened and it was not going to go away.

I will always remember.   A few days later,  after all of the news the extraordinary efforts of all the people involved in the rescues,  I had lost a friend, a shipmate with whom I had been stationed with in Adak Alaska.  Brian A Moss had been stationed at the Pentagon.

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Brian, Wezzie, Chuck Adak, AK sunshine liberty 1991 I think.  Happier times that I wish we could go back to.

I am not sure if I can write much more about it September 11, 2001.   All I know is in the end that kind of destruction is not the answer.  It didn’t solve any problems if anything it created a much bigger problem that we still have not figured out the solution to it all.

I WILL NEVER FORGET!

T is for Tale

t-1136092__180is for TALES.  And what a TALE  this will be.  For starters;  the initial letter T started to fight and whine.  It didn’t feel that the older font I was using gave the TALE justice. It felt small, boxed in, confined.  And now that I think about it,  the letter T in its fussing; turned out to be correct.

TALES are so much larger.  I can’t and do not want to even attempt to pack them into a smaller package.

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This little T put up a fight… kicking and screaming.

Some of the other candidates?  I will bring them in so that you can see my issues.

These two were in the running for a while but at the end I had to think that  TALES can not be confined to a just Celtic motif or even an old English form of swirls and texts.

 

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Peppermint T made an appearance!!!

 

And the last letter T,  I was torn because it was a color pattern that was calling to me.  The wood colors and how it was set up brought back memories of the wood shop that resided in the basement of our house.

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Memories are not a bad thing, but TALES are bigger.

So the moral of the TALE is to listen to your letters because they will speak to you as well. And sometimes they will turn out to be right.  

 

 

S is for Story

sis  for STORY   . My STORY is a journey into my imagination and through many lands and places.   I dream of flying and playing among the stars with my dragon . I want to tell my version of my STORY as it weaves and travels through me.   

Jake is my STORY I am starting to realize.   The STORY of how he snuck in to become the center of my attention caught me by surprise,   and it started with a long dirt road on a farm and green forest. 

Jake whispered as he looked down at his plate.  “Mom where did you come from?”

The silence was complete, everything came to a sudden halt as the little family stared at Jake.  His brother paused in mid chew, the muscles of his cheek bulging with mashed potatoes, and his other brother just simply stared, too startled to say anything.

He didn’t  see his mother looking,  he felt her stare almost as if it was  boring a hole inside of his skull.   It didn’t hurt, it was more of a fear that he would never find a place in this world,  who was his father, and why  was he here?  And he looked up and met his mother’s gaze.  There was a fear of rejection within her eyes.

That STORY has not finished.  The road is long and uncertain and I am sure that there are more pot holes that I still will get stuck in. But the STORY will continue into the forest and beyond.

 

R is for Rejoice

ris for REJOICE.  Now here is what REJOICE means on the world wide web:

re·joice
rəˈjois/
verb
  1. feel or show great joy or delight.
    “he rejoiced when he saw his friend alive”
    synonyms: happiness, pleasure, joy, gladness, delight, elation, jubilation, exuberance, exultation,celebration, revelry, merrymaking

    And I feel that it is a pretty good description of the meaning of REJOICE.  But my question to you is what does REJOICE mean to you?

    To me the feelings and images that appear in my head circle around the Holidays; but for some reason it fits and it doesn’t fit at the same time.   To me it feels a bit fake,  and then  I see dark green holly mixed with the red berries of the season.

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    And there is a story somewhere in this wreath I can feel it….

    And then the feelings of fake suddenly disappear as I feel something new.  I REJOICE for there is a new story brewing.  Where is this wreath ?  Why is it hanging there?  Who put it in that particular space?

    So tell me how do you REJOICE?

     

Q is for Quiet & Quest

qis for QUIET and QUEST.  QUIETLY she crept down the worn path strewn with the remnants of her past.  A doll in a wrinkled gray coated blue and pink dress stared up at her.  She jumped for that was her doll.

A tear rolled down her cheek as  the memory of that birthday party flashed before her eyes.  Pink ribbons, and white balloons graced the corners of the dining room where her parents stood at the side of the table smiling.  “Here (insert name girl name).  Happy Birthday!”  

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Torn and dirty,  with a muddy face, it wasn’t as pretty as she remembered.   She knelt down and hugged it to her chest as the tears continued to roll down her cheeks.  She clung to that memory for that was the last time that she saw her parents….

OK ! Now that was a fork in the road!  I started out with the word QUIET, and then the image of a girl and a lost childhood  QUIETLY slipped into my mind.  I started thinking what could start a QUEST?  A memory?  YEAH!  Go with it and see where it flows!

But honestly it does work; for memories are QUIET for the most part and all QUESTS have to start somewhere.   So where will the QUIET of the QUEST lead to?  Should I venture down that fork of my imagination?  Sure! for who knows where it will end up?  What QUEST  will I follow and who is the girl in the story?   QUIETLY I follow the girl down the path…

                    QUIET and QUEST

P is for PEOPLE

pis  for PEOPLE.  All sorts of people; large, small, old, young all of us; who live on this planet that we call Earth. We PEOPLE are good, we are evil, we make mistakes; say things we later regret and scramble to fix. We love, we play, we laugh, but we are PEOPLE here today on this place we call home.

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We live and play together in tiny packed spaces, but yet we still are alone in a crowd. Masses of  PEOPLE together in a congested place, how is that possible? There are PEOPLE all around us, and they are within a finger touch away but we are still alone.  PEOPLE are alone inside, our body, our mind.

                                                        BUT …

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Being alone is not necessarily a bad thing, because we all need to be alone sometimes.   It can be good;  looking into the sunrise of a new day.   It can be a path to a new beginning;  open up new roads, adventure and new PEOPLE.

 

 

 

O is for Open

o is for OPEN and for everyone it means something different.  For me in this time and place it means an open door, an open box and other paths to follow.

door-475618__180 I like this door.  The door is old and chipped but at the same time I feel there is love behind it and in the room.   It is weather beaten and it has seen  hard times. And I believe that  represents life.  Life as we know is not easy.  There is no magic path to follow to obtain what we want.   Life is full of chipped paint and scratches.  It is the rough coarse polished concrete floor.  But among all of the scrapes, gauges, and discolorations there is a bright yellow that shines through; and to me that gives me hope that there is something to focus on.

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OPEN is an open box and ironically I work with a lot of open boxes.  Big boxes, little boxes, some are oblong and some are custom in that they  have a shape all of their own.   What is in that box? Who knows and I like getting mysterious boxes to OPEN and discover the mysteries that are hidden within.  But now I feel that I have to get out of that OPEN box and out the OPEN door to see what is out there.

But and yes there is a but. That is what I am struggling with.  Life is hard,  it is a challenge;  do I want to step out of my OPEN box through  the OPEN door?  I am scared yes I am scared, but there is that yellow that continues to shine through and bring me hope.   That yellow that persists and remains bright even amidst the weathering and scarring that threatens to over come its message of hope.

So OPEN the door,  OPEN the window and give yourself a chance to experience life.  I know I need to;  I will be right there with bitten fingers and  me shaking in my shoes.

OPEN!!!!